Four Wizards Walk Into a Bar

A friend asked me to write a brief story for a tabletop game he was developing. There was no backstory for the game, but one thing was clear about the story. It had to have wizards.

Stop me if you heard this one before.

Four wizards walk into a bar.

One of them shouts, “Bartender! Serve me a cold one. I just tackled the largest giant in the world.”

“Cute,” says one of the wizards, “I’ve ended a war with my staff alone.”

Another wizard joins the fray, “Ha! None of you lived until you journey into the void and see-“

“Lived?” Interrupted the final wizard, “I’ve stared down death himself and spat in his face, before walking away.”

The four wizards argued through the day about who was the best, until finally the innkeeper rose and announced, “Enough! We shall settle this like the sorcerers you are. I shall reward the wizard, who impresses me the most with their tricks and wits, with my finest ale. On the house.” And so the four wizards dueled through the rest of the night until there was only one standing.


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